White-knuckled

This has to stop.
Once was far too many times, right?
Some advice - that song by .38 Special, "Hold On Loosely" -
yeah, just like that.
A twenty year-old shouldn't be acting like a puppy dog,
no matter how cute it may seem at first.
We've discussed this ad nauseum, I've made myself nauseous ad nauseum,
one of us should wear a leash.
I feel
sick, but I'm sure
that would be the best solution
to my symptoms
of today and next year.

high fructose corn syrup

I walked around a lot today.
I didn't enjoy any of it until this evening, on my last trip home for the day - partly because I didn't have to hurry, but mostly because the humidity level had finally let up (somewhat). The streets were still wet with all the rain we've had lately, and all the street lights and holiday lights reflected off the pavement. The air smelled something like a carwash, mixed with the scent of restaurants cooking various food - for some reason, I thought of nights in Arizona. Even though the town was tiny, I always loved walking at night time there, too - nothing exciting ever happened, but it seemed like it could once the sun went down and the few neon signs came on.
My senior year, if it wasn't too cold and no one's parents were out of town, darkness meant that it was time for high schoolers to gather on the golf course and drink - whether you were underage or not. Being twenty-one there didn't carry much weight (it mostly meant you could buy alcohol for your younger friends), since there were two bars and neither one was really a desirable place to spend your time. Once, on the green, I saw two guys chug a beer and have a puking contest. Who won (or what the point was), I don't remember, but I do recall a very drunk young girl who slipped on the damp grass and fell into their contest remnants.
I can't imagine how exciting it must be to walk at nighttime in a real city. I wonder how the magic compares.

Plans for tonight:
-Attempt video project
-Distract Bear while he's trying to study for a really important final that I cannot even comprehend the subject matter of (calculus)
-Look over drawings I brought home from my locker
-Stare at the tickets I received in the mail (LOUIS XIV AND HOT HOT HEAT! Oh, and Editors.)
-Pass out after the effects of my earlier energy drink wear off

postcard poem

La Fête

A knife in your right hand
your hair in my fist
this rug's drenched
in sunshine
pale eyelids
still drawn
I can see you dreaming
of her.

A vial of hope & a vial of pain

Tonight:
Saw Darjeeling Limited. One of my most anticipated movies of this year... and it did not disappoint! I can't wait to see it again... and again.
One of my favorite things about the movie was simply the chemistry between the actors/characters - really amazing. There were a lot of moments that made me want to chuckle and tear up at the same time.
After the movie, some friends and I went back to one of our apartments and made drinks/played video games/played drinking games.
An awesome way to spend my last night in Morgantown before Thanksgiving break.

Only one thing: I have to go "home" tomorrow. For a week.

P.S. Watch this awesome interactive flash video for the song "Neon Bible":
http://www.beonlineb.com/click_around.html

4 Bands For The Price Of One

Honor, Matt, and I drove up to Pittsburgh last night to see Casiotone For The Painfully Alone play at Garfield Artworks. I'd never been to the venue, and I was pleasantly surprised - not only was the show $7 (to see four bands!) but the atmosphere was really genuine and welcoming.
Posters from all the previous shows lined the walls, and a table with free posters was off to the side. Candy, Yuengling, and other snacks were on another plastic table. About thirty various chairs were arranged in the narrow room, in small rows in front of the stage. Some were folding chairs, others were raggedy stools or tiny seats upholstered in floral designs.
After exploring the downstairs bathroom, we took three seats in the second row. The first act to go on was Elliott Sussman, a man clad in a wine-colored velvet suit, cotton tie, and grey fedora. I was somewhat wary due to his solo setup and various acoustic instruments, seeing as how this was probably going to be a pretty long night, I hoped it wasn't going to start off slowly. I've never been more happy to be wrong - Sussman immediately opened on guitar & kazoo with a happy, old-fashioned tune about his sweetheart, called "Bugaloo". Every song he played was wonderfully sweet and fun, with his scat-singing, banjo-ukulele, and love for crowd participation. The only thing that made me sad about Elliott Sussman was the fact that he didn't stick around or sell merchandise after the show was over.
Second to play was Steve Goldberg & The Arch-Enemies, a three person band (I'd heard one of their songs previously, since their album is currently in rotation at U92). Steve was on guitar and lead vocals, with the Arch-Enemies on drums and violin/back-up vocals. Their take on indie pop was fairly refreshing, especially with the addition of a few ballads and waltzes. Unfortunately, the violinist's cable kept cutting out, so it was somewhat difficult to hear him, but it was otherwise a great set. Their second-to-last song was a cover of Neutral Milk Hotel's "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea"; a lot of the audience sang along, making the venue feel even more warm and cozy than it had previously.
To Bad Catholics took the stage, and the crowd immediately began to chuckle. Julia and Nick were dressed somewhat like Europeans who visited America in the early 90s might've dressed: cargo jeans, an "Athletic B.U.M. Equipment" t-shirt, too much makeup, an awkward black skirt, and a velvet turtleneck. (In the photo of Matt with the band, Nick had changed clothes. Damn!)
Nick took his place behind a harmonium, and Julia behind a small keyboard. They each had microphones, into which they sang enthusiastically and slightly off-key. Between Julia trying to beat-box, the multiple hand-claps, awkward dance moves, and the fact that Nick's fly was down, To Bad Catholics was probably the most entertaining of the bands that played last night. They left many people in the audience wondering if their odd, embarrassing demeanor was an act or not...
I realized later, at the merch table, that Nick is Nick Krgovich, who I very recently heard a song by on the compilation Worried Noodles. I asked him about it, and he's on it a few times, collaborating with different people. I bought one of his 45s and had him sign it - endearing to say the least.
Finally, Owen Ashworth, better known as Casiotone For The Painfully Alone, came on stage. After setting up what looked like twenty or more cables and cords, and un-packaging at least seven Casios, he began to play "Cold White Christmas". By that time in the evening, all of the chairs were full, and the back of the room was packed as well. Everyone was silent as he sang, and I was hypnotized by the contrast made by his emotional lyrics versus the logistical turning of knobs and pressing of buttons.
My favorite moment was when he played "New Year's Kiss", and right after that song was over, he asked if anyone had any requests. Since he had just played my favorite song of his, I thought of my second-favorite: "Hey Eleanor". A girl in the front row raised her hand and asked for "Jeane, If You're Ever In Portland", which he played next. As soon as the applause ended, people began to shout out other requests, mostly for the one of two songs: I Love Creedence, or Hey Eleanor. Owen simply nodded and began to cue up the next track, and I was delighted to hear that it was Hey Eleanor - although he stopped halfway through and said "I totally fucked that one up, so I'll try Creedence now". After Creedence, he played his final song, a brand-new track called "Silent Sunday" (at least I think that was its name - correct me if I'm wrong).
I bought a Casiotone t-shirt and the Krgovich 45, and we left for Primani Brothers - another new experience for Matt and I. My sandwich was glorious: soft bread packed with three kinds of cheeses, and egg, fries, and coleslaw.
We hit the road, turned the radio up, switched the station every two minutes, and continued to dance and laugh through the night.

Listen to the bands here:
Elliott Sussman
Steve Goldberg & The Arch-Enemies
To Bad Catholics
Casiotone For The Painfully Alone


A couple of videos!
To Bad Catholics:


Casiotone - "Scattered Pearls":

An Accidental Encounter With My Ex-Wife

An Accidental Encounter With My Ex-Wife

I watch my enemy (and former lover)
widen her jaw
lick her lips -
a graceful beast
in pearls & grey wool,
I’m the sawdust
sprinkled on fresh vomit.
I have trouble
recalling
our quiet street
before houses
and children
grew up around us.
A couple passes -
Do you ever smile like that?
“Not with you,” she says,
“Not in a million years.”
How about in two million?
It seems our beloved
ice cream truck
no longer pedals
confections, but steaks.
These trees
are perfect and static
above your heavy curls -
I have to look away.

circus pony

I sleep with
your handwriting
beside the bed
penciled loops,
delicate scrawls-
pretending
they make up
a love-note
left
for my morning eyes
but I'm always
blindfolded
into seeing
how that's impossible,
like me leaving
to join the circus
and ride
two white horses,
one foot on each.
balanced in layers
of satin & tulle,
my fantasies
would perform
a dog & pony show,
knife-throwing,
sword-swallowing,
and we would
trapeze,
only to fall.

who's ordinary if everyone's special?

cardboard stars
dangle from my ceiling fan
hitting each other's chains
hating each other's change
a holy trinity
of fan blade tempos
three speeds aren't enough
to knock the dust off
a report card
"C" isn't up to par
when everyone is expecting
to be
better than average
whether with
batting averages
or average temperatures
in weather
were they ever measured
by men in tweed coats
huddled against sharp snow
or against
just-washed sheets
covered in semen?
it’s possible
i could love you,
because you increase my
appreciation for being
alone
but then, that's just using
love the way
my unfinished dinosaur
skeleton painting
is used as a magnet for
curious compliments
something to keep
my easel company
the dinosaur is indifferent
unmoving
teething nothing
but black acrylic.

girl

be honest.
how many boys have you kissed
in the past 3 months?
i wish i could show you
a montage
of your lip encounters
& romantic rendezvous
maybe it would mean something -
a more interesting format
than just sticky, tangled sheets
and sweaty necks.
then it's
good morning!
we're fresh out of toast & coffee, sorry,
have another
breakfast of gluey-eyelidded smiles,
dry kisses,
& your-arm-has-fallen-asleep-
but-don't-say-anything-now-
because-his-tongue-is-in-your-mouth
moments.
i'm tired of seeing you so empty -
and keep in mind
that empty doesn't mean the same thing
as alone.

>>

I'd like to fast-forward, please.
Fast-forward through
stepping back on
public transportation
sitting & yawning
in an art lecture
walking home
uphill
and back here again
to put some songs on the radio
that no one wants to hear
while my friends are at a concert
listening to songs
and cheering.
My diet can't consist of kisses, corn chips, and false hope
alone.
Suddenly, I'm my cat, mewing half-desperately behind her food dish,
I'M STARVING
(for attention)
the minute you leave the room,
the second my bowl is empty.
Someone, push the button.

Again - 2 more new poems

Describe
-a writing exercise-

My favorite sweater is thick, black, and woolly; always warm
Angus Young is on stage in a t-shirt and jeans
leaving the country for two years with a complete stranger
Rudy's tail was like a worm, his ears constantly twitching
A rat dons a school-boy uniform
I'm the orange peel on the cafeteria floor,
or the sawdust sprinkled on fresh vomit.
My street began quiet, but houses and children grew up around us
The beloved ice cream truck grew wings,
started pedaling steaks instead of confections, while
Foghorn Leghorn punched Teddy Roosevelt in the neck
and my big brother kept stomping on towering anthills


Afternoon Reverie

The softly-prickling, shady-cool
slope of the lawn
fits like a puzzle piece
into the small of your back.
I close my eyes
as the sunlight,
pouring like slow, warm butter,
shifts over our skin.
This is the part where
you roll over and kiss me, all fireworks & desire,
with my eyelids still drawn -
and my fingers find
handfuls of auburn hair
and make a nest there,
like a pale, cooing bird.

2 New Poems

Another Day Has Come To An End
September 24th, 2007

I’ve become
a dull brown-haired girl
staring at
two unread books
and six over-played records,
spinning slowly through the evening.
Four candles,
flickering from fan blades,
burn in my living room,
and three white ceramic mugs
of wine later,
part of me hopes
that something will
catch fire
when I’m not looking.


Muffin
September 11th, 2007

Eating an (awful) blueberry muffin
alone,
at five-seventeen in the evening
almost places me
(with the softest, gentlest of hands)
into a state
of nervous breakdown.
No part of this library
belongs to me, and
I’m on the edge,
of everything,
all the time.
I push my fingertip into moist crumbs -
I paid good money for this
desperate attempt
to recreate happiness.

Offend In Every Way

A conundrum:

Consider yourself shy, and others will probably judge you as being snobby, an asshole, or ignorant, all because you don't always say what you're thinking.

Become confident and you'll still get called an asshole, because you're assertive.

I'm not sure what's worse - to be quiet and to be quietly judged,
or to be open & honest, even if you make some enemies while doing so.


Unrelated note:
I don't care if it's lame - "Tiny Vessels" and "Someday You Will Be Loved" by Death Cab make me choke up. Almost every time.

I wish you could bury memories in a time capsule.

Quixotic notions are what I do best.

If you consistently & consciously set yourself up for disappointment, your life will be full of pleasant little surprises!

Don't sit home alone with a plateful of freshly-baked cupcakes sitting in the kitchen.

Having people critique one of my poems for half an hour makes me feel like I'm sitting in a psychologist's office.

My daily life has reached a point where meals are the most exciting part of my day.
I also put off going to bed, so that I can sleep in later & the days will go by more quickly.

When I think of Autumn, I imagine myself wearing a scarf and going on walks with glowing pink cheeks. In reality, I'll still be sitting here.

Quixotic notions are what I do best.

It's Tuesday.

My all-time favorite song to listen to while bike-riding is none other than Purple Bottle by Animal Collective.
It's sort of lengthy, which means you have just enough time to daydream, and it's upbeat enough that you don't want to stop pedaling.
Really, I just think Feels is a great album overall to listen to while outdoors, or at least riding in a car with the windows down. (So is Strawberry Jam, but unfortunately, I have some slightly negative connotations with that album now, so I'll have to wait a bit before I can really enjoy it out in the sunshine).

I don't know if I want to be buried when I die.
I don't really want to lie and rot, but at the same time, the whole coffin-and-flowers-and-tombstone bit does have slightly romantic overtones. Someone weeping on a patch of soil and hugging a slab of cold granite in memory of me isn't totally unappealing.
Then again, being cremated might not be too bad. I mean, I could sit on a mantle somewhere and be part of everyday life in that house, and absorb the odors from Thursday nights' lasagna dinners.
I don't want to assume that I have a lot of time to consider & think about these things. Maybe I'll just stick with mummification.

Few things are better than reaching into a box of cereal that has marshmallows (like Lucky Charms) and pulling out a big clump of just the little marshmallow things. Pure, sugary heaven.

Running late.

Songs from M.I.A.'s album Kala, in order from my most favorite to least:

1. Come Around (features Timbaland)
2. Bird Flu
3. Boyz
4. $20
5. Bamboo Banger
6. Hussel
7. Jimmy
8. Down River
9. XR2
10. The Turn
11. Mango Pickle Down River (This song would be perfectly good if it wasn't for the singing chipmunks or whatever the hell is going on)
12. Paper Planes (Again, I like this song until the chorus kicks in. Then I just wish the machine guns would take me out, too)
SOMEONE TRY TO ARGUE WITH ME ABOUT THIS LIST.


Imaginary monologue:
"Maybe you can catch up to me, in the total number of people you've slept with, and then we can have meetings where we sit around and hate each other and ourselves, and our need for empty affairs, because the only purpose they serve is to act as an affirmation that we aren't utter monsters, or at least, that we can still hide our ugly selves from strangers, if only for one night."


Vegetable cream cheese is delicious on pretzels, chips, bagels (of course), and probably anything else you can think of. It also stays fresh for a lot longer than I expected...which makes me somewhat suspicious.


My cat has been uncharacteristically affectionate lately. Maybe she feels guilty for killing the birds, after all.


As much as everyone complains about sweating and the humidity, I swear I'm the only one that I ever see actually sweating.


I used a turntable during my radio shift for the first time last night! Some guy called in and requested "any Grateful Dead song" for his friend's bachelor party. Suddenly, I felt responsible for these guys' good time. I was always terrified of using one on-air, because I wasn't sure how to start a song exactly at the beginning. I tried it out beforehand and I thought I had it down...but when the time came to start up "Sugar Magnolia", my hands were shaking and I dropped the needle on the end of the 3rd track instead of the beginning of the 4th. Real smooth, right? I just told myself that it was sort of like an intro.


Plans for this weekend: party, meet Michael, watch the game on TV, party, see some local bands, sleep at one point or another, tell Michael goodbye, suddenly remember all of my homework, continue to put off homework until the last minute.

5 Minutes To Spill

-Florida's Natural Fruit Juice Nuggets are delicious, but couldn't they at least try to make them look more appetizing? I feel like I'm eating some sort of pet food.

-I think I'm wearing a hole through my laptop's trackpad.

-I get mad at my cat for killing birds, and then I remember that my dog used to kill cats, so I let it go.

-I keep drinking wine in the evenings, thinking it will put me in a better mood and motivate me to be more creative with my homework. I just end up weeping, going to bed, and not doing any homework. It's easy to blame the wine.

-My upstairs neighbors still have a bowl of mine. The longer I go without asking for it back, the weirder I imagine it will be when I actually do. I feel like I need to make up an excuse for why I suddenly need it after three months - "I decided to eat cereal this morning, but I just can't allow myself to enjoy Captain Crunch unless I'm eating it from a black bowl. Speaking of black bowls - you still have mine, right?"

-I'd like to record a new song sometime, but I'm afraid to ask about borrowing someone's microphone, because that puts pressure on me to actually record something of value (or anything at all).

-I'm probably the only one who does this, but sometimes while I'm talking to someone, I suddenly think about how I'm the only one talking - and how they're listening to just me - and it sort of freaks me out. I lose all train of thought and start to get embarrassed.

-Most of the time when I write poetry, I realize that I'm really writing it for someone else to read. For tonight's assignment - fuck that.

Collected Thoughts In An Unorganized Manner

Every time I laugh, I realize how much I've missed doing so.

I liked the tie that my poetry teacher wore today. Knit, green, and navy-striped. Paired with a white button-down, a grey suit-coat, some pants that I can't recall specifically, and New Balances.
His name also has more double letters than any other name I've seen.

As always, the weather has been frustrating. Yesterday, it rained so much that three pairs of my shoes ended up soaked, two different outfits were drenched, and my hair was consistently wet for over 24 hours. Yet, today, it was more humid than I can remember it being all summer. Please, let it be Autumn soon!

Reoccurring daydreams lately:
-My electronic media class somehow helping me become the next Michel Gondry
-How nice it will feel when I can actually enjoy hanging out and relaxing again
-Living in the late 70s/early 80s, hanging out with my late uncle James, and playing Talking Heads albums as they come out
-Sipping wine while finally finishing my dinosaur painting and listening to records on a new record player

ONE DAY, THESE WILL COME TRUE. Well...maybe a couple of them.

Best purchases recently:
Red skinny pants - $7.99 at Gadzooks
LBD - $49 at Pacsun (worth it.)

At least one thing to be excited about in my world:
-The book I got at the library today: "Four Spirits", by Sena Jeter Naslund. I loved her book, "Abundance", a historical-fiction work about Marie Antoinette, and this one seems pretty interesting - and not only because when I opened it to a random page, the first line that caught my eye was: "She hated him. She longed for cruel revenge. To fuck him up the ass until he screamed." Honestly - it should be really good.

Currently searching for:
-The card game "Pit"
-Music by The Hentchmen
-My self-esteem

(A reflection written for drawing class)

Looking back: September 2006-April 2007

"It's the little things that remind me of how certain months felt. The way a certain shirt will smell of laundry detergent that I used to use, or specific albums that I listened to endlessly. Usually I don't even realize how much of an impact certain events had on me, until those little things raise their heads again.
The first month or so that I was here was filled with a blank depression. I didn't miss home (wherever that is); it came down to pure loneliness. I didn't want to eat alone and see other people making friends - a simple task that most people seem to relish but that makes me break into a cold sweat - so I hid in my room and chose not to eat.
The next period came in a sudden whirlwind of activity. I didn't have time to be alone if that's what I'd wanted. I hurt people because I'd forgotten how to act like a sociable human being. I was so desperate for any kind of attention. The end of the first semester brought the reflection, "These past few months have probably been the best months of my life." That was an exaggeration.
Now, I'm comfortable. I won't go to class in my pajamas, but I can fore-go those when I'm not sleeping alone. I take things for granted, specifically things like having someone who is what both my brain and heart have always wanted. I guess once we get that thing we want, no matter how much we desired it, it seems less important, and that's unfortunate. Nonetheless, he is the most important thing in my life.
My capacity for creative thinking has grown (along with my waistline), and I owe that to a few specific people (and foods). I've learned that I'm never going to be amazing at anything, but now that the pressure is decreasing as far as that goes, I'm more inclined to do what I want (especially in artwork). I can draw a lot better, I'm learning to be less shy, and I never skip dessert. But, I still wear the same shoes that I have for four years, even though all the seams are busting."
-from my sketchbook for freshman year art classes

Concert Memoir: The White Stripes

First off, this was my second time seeing the White Stripes (I feel incredibly lucky to have been able to see my favorite band twice!) and I enjoyed this show just as much as the first time I saw them.
However, it was a pretty different experience...

CONCERT COMPARISON TIME!
1st Time (In Phoenix):
-the venue was a huge old theater
-I had assigned seats (not bad seats, they were in the 2nd row, but still seats nonetheless)
-I went to the show with my boyfriend whom I'd recently broken up with and hadn't seen in a couple of weeks (see: awkward city)
-Most of the material they played was off their latest release, Get Behind Me Satan
-They had various decorations on stage and their backdrop was black with a glowing white apple that later turned red
-Jack and Meg were in somewhat elaborate costume
-Their encore consisted of mostly covers (Jolene, De Ballad Of De Boll Weevil)

...as opposed to:
2nd Time (In Fairfax):
-the venue was a large college stadium
-I had floor seats (We were fairly close, but I got sick and had to leave for a period of time, so when we got back we were farther away...and I'm shorter than most of the people that were there, so it was hard to see at times. Still better than assigned seats, though)
-Attended the show with my loving boyfriend :)
-Only played 4 songs off their newest album, Icky Thump... a lot of older material was included
-Simpler stage setup, with a solid red backdrop - it did have 2 giant steps in front of it, though, that Jack strutted on a couple of times
-Awesome light effects, courtesy of a large spinning disco ball that reflected red and white lights
-Meg and Jack were more casually dressed
-The encore actually didn't include Jolene

Similarities:
-Both shows opened with "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground"
-Both included "Seven Nation Army" in their encore sets
-Both were fucking awesome

I was really glad that I got to hear "Screwdriver" live again. It's probably my favorite White Stripes song, or one of my very top favorites. Icky Thump was amazing live, especially when Jack made it a medley with "When I Hear My Name". There were actually a lot of songs that he mixed together...especially using some of their oldest material. That was exciting for me, because I think some of their best songs, or at least most entertaining, are on their debut album.
So, I may not have gotten any M&Ms from one of Jack's bodyguard look-a-likes this time (sugar never tasted so good), but I DID almost run into them when I was leaving the backstage area, after being sick (the nurse). Too bad I didn't get to actually see them back there.
Seen this summer: The National, The White Stripes
Hopefully seeing soon: Animal Collective (in September)

Rambles

After more than a month of not posting anything new...

I'm feeling better about things. Just generally better. I'm not even sure what was going on the past month, but...I think, and hope, that it's gone for good.
The White Stripes concert is this weekend! I feel so lucky to be seeing them again. If it wasn't for my boyfriend, I wouldn't even be able to go, since I can't drive...I doubt anyone else would've been willing to take me. I hope we can get reasonably close to the stage. Who am I kidding? I hope we can get so close that they drip sweat on us and I can see the hairs on Jack's chinny-chin-chin.
I have so much free time now that all I seem to do is analyze how I feel. For some reason I seem kind of stuck between being a teenager and living in what is becoming straight- up adulthood. I mean, technically I'm an adult, and I will REALLY not be a teenager anymore this October, but something feels off.
I guess I've just always imagined 20 year-olds to have their own cars and posh apartments and long-term relationships and jobs and be totally on top of it, and the girls don't wear tennis shoes anymore - unless they're working out, which they do regularly because they're smart, responsible adults - no, they wear high heels and know how to walk in them. That sounds pretty silly, I guess. Especially now that I realize that no one is going to hand me those things or teach me how to achieve any of that.
I look around and the people I know that are older than me, even my brother, they're nothing like that. I guess I just believed what I saw on TV and in movies. I can't help but imagine that I'll be living like that in 3 years, anyway. Reality's gonna come a-crashing down one of these days.
All I really want anymore is something permanent. I'm tired of moving and changing. I look forward to the rest of my undergraduate time in college, but I also want it to be over. I'm hoping I can get out of here early. Morgantown is okay, but it's not somewhere I want to live any longer than I have to. (I hope I never somehow find this when I'm 40, listening to LCD Soundsystem's "Losing My Edge" on my antique iPod with a tear in my eye, because I'm sure I'll want to kick myself in the ass for saying "I want it to be over" in reference to college.)
For some reason, I just sort of envy my cousin who's 20-something and living in Pittsburgh with her husband. Maybe "envy" isn't the right word. It's more like admire. I don't even really know her that well, but I like to imagine what her life is like. Teaching at a university, having a husband that loves you, making gourmet food and writing a blog about it, seeing the city. I'm sure it's probably not as wonderful as I think it is, but it seems pretty awesome.
In the meantime, while I'm daydreaming about my future, here's a mix that I put together today. It's for the Last.fm group that I'm in, the Monthly Mixtape. The theme for July was "summertime"...so I took that pretty literally and threw something together.
For anyone who actually reads this... here you go: http://www.sendspace.com/file/x983gq

Record Review: Icky Thump

With the announcement of the making of Icky Thump, my mind immediately went back to the release of Get Behind Me Satan - possibly my favorite White Stripes album. I was extremely excited to hear what Jack and Meg were going to do on their sixth record, yet I couldn't help but wonder: Could it get any better?
While still counting down the days until June 19th, Icky Thump leaked. Up until this album, I had always had to wait until the release date to hear new White Stripes material...so my anticipation got the best of me, and though I felt slightly guilty (especially after the radio-leak episode and Jack's ensuing rage), I listened to Icky Thump endlessly for about a week.
Wait - a week? Elephant didn't leave my CD player for months, and GBMS was more or less my soundtrack to 2005. So what happened to Icky Thump?
I love most of the songs on the record ("Conquest" gets stuck in my head almost daily and "Catch Hell Blues" makes me want to cause a drunken ruckus), but something was missing:
the relationship between feverish fans and the anxious artist; hearing the beginning of the first track as you flip through the album's booklet; even the experience of ripping off the cellophane as soon as you get out of the store and into your car.
I still happily bought the CD as soon as I could on Tuesday - I'll always buy the album when it comes to The White Stripes - but now I better understand why devoted Arcade Fire fans refused to listen to Neon Bible when it leaked. To quote a different band featuring Jack White: "I'm through rippin' myself off".
So, back to my original thought: Could it get any better?
It's hard to say - I feel kind of cheated of being able to fully enjoy this album, and that's completely my own fault. However, my first impression still stands: delight mixed with a little disappointment, most likely because GBMS was such a punch in the gut for me - so surprising and jaw-dropping yet still incredibly & uniquely White Stripes. Icky Thump had some big, rockin', peppermint-colored shoes to fill, and while it follows in the same formidable vein as GBMS, that's just it: it follows, and that makes it slightly less impressive.
There are still some experiences to be relished now that Icky Thump is officially in stores: listening to it with good quality at loud volumes, playing tracks from it on the radio, and getting to see Jack and Meg rock the album live this July.

Quick Review of Tracks:
1. Icky Thump: Sounds the way black licorice tastes. Still one of my favorites, even after hearing the rest of the album. Surprisingly political lyrics. I wish there were more songs like this one throughout this record.
2. You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told): Feels like it should come at a later point in the album. Brutally honest lyrics over what feels like less-than-sincere music.
3. 300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues: An excellent, somewhat slower, searing blues number.
4. Conquest (Patti Page cover): Made me smile immediately upon hearing it. Best played at extreme volumes and sung at the top of your lungs.
5. Bone Broke: Classic White Stripes sound. This track seems somewhat unremarkable, but it's good & reliable rock that balances out the other, more experimental tracks.
6. Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn: Another strongly unique song featuring unexpected cultural influences (fans can now add Irish-folk to the list of explored genres by the White Stripes). Way less annoying than Flogging Molly.
7. St. Andrew (This Battle Is In The Air): Weirdly beautiful and interesting, this transitional track is like some sort of prayer, orated perfectly by Meg.
8. Little Cream Soda: Squealing/crunchy guitar and anticipation-building drums make this track one of the highlights of Icky Thump.
9. Rag and Bone: Endearing and mischievous dialogue mixed with the playful execution of this track make it something fans will love.
10. I'm Slowly Turning Into You: Makes you want to wail along with Jack as he notices that: "...I'm doing all the little things that you do, except the same little things that you do are annoying - they're annoying as hell, in fact", followed by the admission that idiosyncrasies are what makes someone appealing in the first place.
11. A Martyr For My Love For You: Heart-wrenching track about self-ruination. This one went unnoticed the first couple of times I listened to the record, but it's definitely worthy of some attention.
12. Catch Hell Blues: My personal favorite from Icky Thump (for now, at least). It hits you dead-on with Meg's trademark thumping & crashing, and Jack's yowling & screaming (from both his guitar and his vocal chords).
13. Effect & Cause: Clever lyrics typical of Jack's "tell-off", or advisory, songwriting style. Consistently leaves me wishing there were more tracks to follow.

For those interested:
I will be playing a solid hour of The White Stripes' music on July 5th, from 10pm-11pm (EST). It will be part of an All-American Music Marathon on U92 FM. You can listen online here.

Also, if there's anyone left out there who doesn't have it yet, here's my current favorite track from Icky Thump:
Download - Catch Hell Blues

Journal I

The days are so hot. The weather report calls for thunderstorms almost everyday but it hardly rains. Sometimes I hope that the clouds will break open and let out a torrential downpour while I'm walking home from class. Umbrellas don't even need to be considered when it comes to summer rain. Why is it that "torrential" is only ever heard in reference to a "downpour"? I don't think I've ever heard it placed in front of another noun.
I hope I can get a new record player soon...although I should really just save my money since I have events coming up that I'll need it for. What kind of gift should you get your mother & her new husband? The last and only wedding I've ever attended was my uncle's, and all I remember about that was how the cake was decorated with fake butterflies crafted from differently-colored feathers, and that instead of throwing rice, we were supplied with some kind of tiny, hard, heart-shaped, sprinkle things. I think my mom's using birdseed, which is nice. I hope lots of birds fly down to nibble at it while we're around.
During one of my regular imaginings of my mom's wedding, I wondered: will she throw her bouquet? It's tradition, but there are only two single women in her family now, excluding my widowed grandmother, and those two are her divorced sister and myself. I suppose that her fiancé will have daughters there who aren't married, though. Let's just hope that she decides to skip the garter-belt gig...

Indulge me. (Or not)

This link will take you to a site where you can choose 5-6 adjectives that you think describe me. Then I can see what qualities I need to improve upon to make you like me.
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Lizzybeth+T

Facial Hair Frosting

Ice Cream Cone Cupcakes:

Prepare cake batter.
Pour into ice cream cones (with flat bottoms) until 2/3 full.
Set in cake pan or on cookie sheet.
Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees (unless cake mix directs otherwise).
Let cool; decorate.
Devour and wear frosting as a soul patch.

Little thing.

We were born in sunshine
in a cereal bowl of warm gold
Teaspoons of your skin
Fingers bloom and unfold

We were born in sunshine
We'll probably die in rain
I grabbed forkfuls of your hair,
thinking
whether we drown or burn alive-
it's all the same.